


salt in our blood

by haanten



Series: time [1]
Category: Wonder Woman (2017)
Genre: F/M, mmm love steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 04:43:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haanten/pseuds/haanten
Summary: Steve finds a god.





	salt in our blood

**Author's Note:**

> uuuhh been sitting on this for a while now so here it is.

Man is inherently selfish. Survival, above all else, is the main primal instinct in their minds. Steve knew this, and he knew it well. He’d tried his damnedest to stay out of the war, to dodge the draft, to hide from the looks of his fellow man being shipped across the pond to fight in a war to end all wars. Man, also, is susceptible to shame, to guilt. And guilt can drive even the most convicted man to do things he would not normally do.

So Steve found himself following the American doughboys over the Atlantic into Europe. He settled himself into an intelligence position and followed orders. He followed orders so well that nobody noticed when he didn’t, lied so well that no one thought he was, and slipped into the cracks in the walls while nobody was watching. Captain Steve Trevor was not the same man that he was in America as he was in London, or Berlin, or Themyscira. He was better. 

Steve thought himself to be a good pilot during the war, until he nosedived into the ocean. He always thought that if he ever crashed, it wouldn’t be his doing, that he was shot out of the sky by an enemy plane, or went valiantly in a dogfight, but it is what it is, and the island that he saw before the plane breached the water was so beautiful, he was almost okay with it. And getting pulled out of the water by strong arms was definitely fine with him, but when he saw the face that went with the pair of arms, he was really okay with it. Steve wasn’t very sure if he still believed in god after all that he had seen from the war, but she was so beautiful she may as well have been an angel to him.

Steve proceeded to cough up a lung full of water.

He’d left with Diana that night, intrigued by the woman who stood at his height in her steel boots. She was smart, yet so unknowing of what she called Man’s World. They talked softly as the ship drifted across smooth waves that Steve had never known. The stars were bright in the Themysciran sky, unpolluted by the industry lights or the violent sparks of bombs going off in the dead of night. Diana pointed to constellations that Steve had never seen, telling the stories of the gods and their children they engraved into the sky. Her voice lulled him into a trance where he could do nothing but listen, and that was the only thing he wanted to do. If he woke up wrapped up in her arms, both covered by her cloak, he didn’t mind all that much.

When Diana climbed her way into No Man’s Land, Steve was sure his heart had stopped beating. He called out her name before he could even think about it, pleading without asking, for her to come back. She made no notice of him, not even a nod, and continued out, her cloak billowing behind her as she unclipped it from her neck, as if it weighed her down.

She will die, he thought. And it will be your fault.

The first bullet shot at her could’ve gone through Steve and he wouldn’t have told anyone different, but as it ricocheted off of her gauntlets, Steve’s eyes softened, his face went lax, and he couldn’t believe it. Here she was, standing tall in the middle of No Man’s Land, in a place where Steve had seen countless others stand before, only to fall not even seconds later, and she was beautiful. She was something not of this world, not of this land. She was no man, and she had never set foot on this part of the earth before, yet she walked it like they were old friends. She walked upon the unmarked graves of hundreds of men to save the thousands of men behind her. She was not ethereal, for she was stronger than any man he had ever seen, but the pure, unfiltered light and hope she emitted as she stood there, taking heavy fire, was something that could not have originated on this war torn earth. 

And Steve loved her, it was ridiculous, but Steve loved her. As Steve ran forward, leading his ragtag groups of semi-spies and soldiers, he fell further into love than he ever thought possible while climbing out of a muddy trench. But when she fought, Steve knew then, he was a goner.

-

In Veld, as the snow fell around them, as his hand rested against her waist, as hers wrapped around his shoulder, and they held each other in the cold, winter air, Steve felt more content than he had in years.

“What are you thinking, Steve Trevor?” Diana had asked him, her voice low, barely above a whisper. 

There were so many things Steve could have said to reply.

I’m thinking about a future with you. Reading the paper, eating breakfast, going to work, getting married, having kids. The works.

I’m thinking about what the world will do after this war.

I’m thinking about home, wherever that is.

I’m thinking about-

“-how your hair looks real nice with these snowflakes in it,” he says finally, his breath ghosting over her face as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his eyes travelling across her features before settling on hers. They were the deepest brown he could possibly imagine, and he can’t wait to keep experiencing these new firsts with Diana, as she constantly surprises him.

She cocks her head slightly to the side, squinting her eyes a bit, studying his face. Steve almost feels objectified under her steadfast gaze, but he doesn’t. Instead, he feels strangely comfortable as she says nothing, just looks.

“As does yours,” she breathes out, so quiet he knows that it is meant for him and him alone, that the stars were not meant to hear the words she has spoken.

They are led to a makeshift hostel in the ruined town square. Firelight illuminates the front room before them, as Diana speaks with the owner of the home in hushed tones. Steve pays no attention to what they are saying, only catching bits of the conversation, his learned German not keeping up with the fluency at which they speak.

“He is cute,” he hears the young girl say. “But his eyes are too heavy.”

“He is, young one. His eyes have seen many things I do not yet know,” Diana replies. The light plays a dance across her face. Diana’s eyes flick to Steve, who is wandering around the room, running his hands along the worn seating and gazing at the pictures hung on the wall. 

The silence is easy under them. They watch as Steve leans his palms against the back of the couch so he faces the fire. Orange hues catch on his eyes and contrast the blue. Steve feels at ease here, but he knows what the calm before a storm feels like.

Finally, he turns his head towards Diana, still watching him, and gives her a gentle smile.

“Wanna head up? I don’t know about you, Wonder Woman,” he says, the nickname slips out of his mouth as easily as Diana would have. He comes to think of them as synonymous after what he saw today. “But I’m beat.”

Diana only answers in a nod, and follows behind him as he starts up the stairs. He doesn’t catch the wink the young girl Diana was talking to throws at them, and though she was looking at her, neither does Diana. 

He leads her into her room, barely crossing the threshold into it behind her. He watches as she walks to the window, leaning slightly into it to see the snow better. Outside, some still dance in the square, and although the window is closed, the music still seeps through the old wood. 

Steve gets the sudden feeling that he’s intruding on something private, between Diana and the space around her. He goes to leave, the bid goodnight muted on his lips. He does not see Diana’s startled expression as she turns to see him facing away from her, unable to understand why he wants to leave.

Stay is whispered into the dark room, and Steve doesn’t know if he actually hears it, or if it is his mind playing cruel tricks on him. Footsteps make their way towards where he is standing, and a hand comes to rest on his shoulder, the other on the edge of the door. He still does not turn to face her. She guides him slowly back into the room, and she turns him around till his face is mere centimeters away from hers. A tugging feeling grasps at his heart, pulling him closer and closer until his breath intertwines with Diana’s, and he can see the way her lips fold into a cupid’s bow. Blue eyes meet brown, and he is sure in what he is doing. His hands come to wrap around her waist, anchoring himself against the pounding in his chest.

When she presses her lips to his, Steve forgets that there is a war going on outside, that he is thousands of miles away from home, he remembers that she is, and he wants to never forget the taste of her mouth, or the way her arms feel around him. He fights impossibly hard to remember the way her spine arches underneath his fingertips, and the subtle lines around her mouth when she smiles. Steve tells Diana that she is beautiful, and Diana tells him that he is, as well, and his heart flutters as she runs her hands up his back, along his neck, under his chin.

There’s a fleeting thought in the back of Steve’s mind that this happiness will not stay, but right now he holds onto it as tight as he can and prays to whatever god will answer him that he can have more time with Diana, to watch a flush crawl up her skin and settle on the tops of her cheeks. He whispers sweet everythings into her ear, as there is no nothing when it comes to Diana.

Legs intertwined, Diana pulls Steve against her body, his head resting in the crook of her arm and her cheek lying on the top of his head. She presses a kiss to it, and Steve’s eyes close, his heart weighted with love and the undeniable feeling that this is the last of it. He will never be this happy again, and he makes peace with it, sighing into Diana’s skin.

-

Steve wants to make her realize that this war isn’t Ares’ doing, that war is bred from the hate that grows inside of a blackened heart, that war isn’t some divine action from the gods, but it is human, and humans are imperfect, hateful beings. She shouldn’t have come here, to Man’s World, to Germany, to Steve. She doesn’t belong here, where malevolence reigns and there is no right answer, no perfect outcome where she can save nearly as many as she wants. He does not want her altered by the horrors of this war, but he knows that he cannot stop her from doing what she will, from fulfilling her destiny. 

She will remain as she was before, a beacon of candor and hope, but Steve will never be the man that he once was. He has lost too much, received too little, but maybe, just maybe, the reverence that Diana has allowed him to feel, the love in a time of incredible loss that she has given him, might be enough to change his vices into virtues, but it cannot change the whole world as fast as it had him.

They do not have enough time, Steve knows this. Diana does not. Diana is untouchable. Steve is only human.

He grabs her face and pulls her close, pressing her body into his. I love you, he thinks, he knows.

“I love you,” he says.

He turns his back from Diana, knowing that if he stayed longer, he would be unable to leave. He does not allow himself to cry as he runs towards the plane, he does not allow his heart to break as he hears Diana call out to him, confused and rough. He hopes she can forgive him, lord knows she’ll have the time to try.

As the plane ascends, Steve thinks about if he knew Diana in another life, another time, where the world wasn’t fighting against itself, where Steve had not already become jaded, where Diana did not have to protect mankind, she only wanted to. He thinks of what it would have been like if they could have stayed in Veld for the rest of their lives, to grow old with the sunlight surrounding them and love enveloping them until forever seemed to fade away.

A wistful smile creeps its way onto Steve’s face, and he cannot wipe it away. He aims his pistol at the tanks of gas behind him. He thinks of the life he and Diana could have had. There is a very short list of things he wouldn’t do for one hour more with Diana. For her to hold him in her arms again, to feel the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slept, to watch her fight with such valor. His eyes fill with tears as he finally allows himself to cry, to be afraid, because no one is watching, it’s just him and the sky. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. He thinks about the stars in Themyscira and entertains the thought of becoming a constellation. His finger tightens around the trigger, not enough to set off the gunpowder, but enough to fully settle the weight of the situation into Steve’s hands.

This is not his war anymore. It is not his fight. He leaves behind nothing but his watch on earth, hoping it provides more time for a world that deserves it. If not, let the watch be destroyed with Diana, and let time stop on an unworthy planet. Steve can change today, but Diana can change every day after that. So, he settles in his seat, holds his breath, and pulls the trigger.

At first, there is nothing. And then, there is everything. Steve only hopes that he could see an angel once more.


End file.
